Monday, August 30, 2010
Today was just one of those days.As soon as I got home I decided I needed my little pick-me-up video...so this is it. It's nice to be reminded that although life is hard, and we feel like we are failing, the only people who truly fail are those who give up and never finish the race. As long as we keep picking ourselves up and keep moving toward the finish line, we are winning the race. Too often I forget that, and I compare myself with others or focus on all my imperfections...when that truly is not what the race is all about.
The reasoning for watching the video was that I had interesting/sad conversation with a guy in my PA class. The conversation started out innocent enough. We were talking about girls in the class that he liked and somehow we jumped topics to mormons. He knew that I was a member because we had previously discussed it and I guess he used to be a member. Anyway, for 45 minutes he told all the reasons why he didn't believe it was true and why the gospel didn't make sense. It only took a couple of minutes for me to realize that he really wasn't interested in hearing the truth, he just wanted to say what he believed.
I was fine listening until he told me that he thought that God was evil. He tried to defend his logic, but of course it made absolutely no sense, because absolutely everything in life, my own included, testifies of the fact that God is good and loving and perfect. I'm not sure why I was so offended, but right after he got out of the car and I just started to cry. I know I'm an emotional person, but usually I have a somewhat legit reason to cry. And as I started to think of why I was feeling sad and hurt I realized it was because he had just attacked one of the foundations in my life and there was nothing I could say that would convince him of how wrong he was. It doesn't sound like it would be a super traumatic event, but it was for me. At the end of the conversation I just said that I respected his beliefs but that didn't change my own. I wish I could have really shared my thoughts and told him why I know that God is good and why I know the church is true, but I guess I'll have to save those thoughts for someone who really wants to listen. Since I didn't get a chance to share my testimony with him I just wanted to say it now. I know that God lives! I know that he loves me and cares for me and that he wants the best for all his children. Sometimes bad things happen to good people because of agency and life and sometimes just to humble us. Just because bad things happen doesn't mean that God is malicious, it actually means quite the opposite. He cares enough to see us go through pain and have us learn something. I know that this is His gospel and that everything about it is 100% true. I know all this because I have had many experiences that have testified to me of the truthfulness of these principles and all together, this gospel. I am grateful that I have this knowledge because despite what others might think, I wouldn't be happy without it.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
The last few months I had the wonderful opportunity to work as a Health Counselor for EFY in Provo. At first, I was extremely skeptical of the job and the people, but looking back, I wouldn't change this summer for anything.
Key moments of this summer... I was expecting that we would make weekly trips to the ER, but we ended up only going twice the whole all summer, which was actually really nice because it was quite a hastle to go there and wait for hours. Probably my favorite injury all summer was this boy who came to me and said he was nauseous and couldn't breathe. As I talked with him, the story finally came out that while he had been in the bathroom the night before, they had turned out the lights to his apartment. He apparently didn’t wait for his eyes to adjust to the darkness before he 'ran' out of the bathroom and straight into his door frame. He said it knocked him down for a little bit and the next day (when he came to talk to me) he was in a ton of pain. We ended up taking him the DR. where they told him he had a broken rib. I know I shouldn’t laugh, but seriously????Who seriously runs out of the bathroom?
Another funny/awkward story from EFY. So I decided that I kind of liked this one counselor. It didn’t take long for me to find out that he was interested in someone, so there really was no potential, which is a good thing because I totally blew it one night. So it was the Friday night ‘lock down’ and we were in the basement of Chipman and we were all sitting there and I got up to get some cereal, because we would all munch at our 11pm meeting. Anyway, so I was eating some cocoa pebbles and this guy was sitting on the couch right in front of me. So I went up and started rubbing his shoulders. That sounds sketchy, but you have to remember that these are EFY counselors…they are all about touchy-feely-ness…so that is totally normal. Anyway he tilted his head back to talk to me and he asked me a question and I responded but not just in words. Because I was eating, a huge drop of spit came out of my mouth and went right into his eye. Not just his eyelid…no his eye! I was so embarrassed! What could I do, but apologize and laugh it off. Yeah…thus ended that relationship…jk.
It was an amazing summer that left me with some great friends and memories!