When I grow up, I want to be like Alias

This past week has been pretty uneventful, but I do have one story from the week that made me smile.

So last week after the temple trip I decided that I wanted to write a note to Brian and Justin-cause that is what I do. I like tell people how wonderful they are. In my true fashion I didn’t sign it…it seems more exciting for me and them, when it is anonymous. I said something like…you guys are awesome and we decided you guys are both studs. I know…kind of forward, but it was anonymous, so it didn’t matter AND I put the ‘we’ thing in there, so I was safe.

Last night (Saturday) I decided that I wanted to take cookies over to them because they were leaving on a trip and I just thought it was a good idea. So I acted on the thought and I wrote a quick note just saying have fun on your trip.

Before I took them over I called Brian to see when they were leaving and also to see if they needed a ride to the airport so they wouldn’t have to leave their car. Of course they didn’t want a ride, but it was worth a try. So I dropped off the cookies. I didn’t ring the doorbell, because of all the bad luck I’ve had with ding-dong ditching in the past (ie. Christmas x3, Halloween, etc)and I walked away feeling pretty good about myself. Job well done. Check mark on life.

Today at church however, Han(a girl who was apparently over at Justin’s last night) came up to me and asked if I brought the cookies over. I didn’t want to lie so I said ‘what are you talking about?’ I thought I was pretty convincing…doing the whole innocent-blank look, but apparently I need to take some acting lessons, cause she just asked me again…and again, till I finally said, ‘alright-how did you know it was me?’

Then she followed it up with, ‘Did you also write the “stud note”(haha…she really did call it that, which makes me a little worried…cause I’m guess they call it that too. This is definitely one of those, ‘Betsy, what have you done’ moments)?’ I guess they saved my other note (who does that? I knew girls did it, but it wasn’t even that cool of a note-it was just a couple of sentences on a flashcard) and they were comparing the handwriting. I thought I had done an excellent job of not making any sounds outside their apartment AND I even thought about the previous note-and the possible connection between the two, and I specifically used different hand writing for the second note. Anyway, I’m not sure how they put it together exactly, but they did.

All Han told me was that I was the only one nice enough to drop off cookies. Whatever! That is such a lie…there are tons of really nice people in the ward. Obviously the real issue was that I completely failed in my Alias-like skills. I was actually kind of bummed-I love surprises (thank you Mom and Rachel) and now it’s ruined AND on top of that, there are now all these questionable motives for why I left them notes and cookies. For heaven’s sake- I just wanted to be a good friend, and do something nice and now they’ve just ruined it. Haha. I know how ridiculous it sounds, and I’m actually not that upset, maybe just a tiny bit, but whatever…there isn’t much a I can do about it now. Moral of the story-sneakiness is HARD and should only be attempted by the most skilled individuals and apparently I’m not one of them as has been proven multiple times.

To end on a more Sunday appropriate note, I just love this song and I thought I'd share it....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBoGnfxoWiQ&feature=related

Just doin' what I shoulda been doin'

Katie and MeJustin, Brian, Ben, Peter

(this was an awkward picture because the lady behind us in line said, 'Oh here, let me take the picture with you and all the guys in it.' I really didn't want to, but whatever...so I stand on the side next to Peter and a bunch of people in line (not just the lady taking the picture) said, 'No...you need to be in the center!' Too much attention! Everyone in line was looking at us, plus all the guys were laughing cause they had pulled me to the center of the group and they were trying to make it a bigger deal than it needed to be. I know I like attention...but this was a little too much. Thus the awkward/nervous laugh as pictured above.)

So....I had my first PA experience. We just went to a retirement home and did a history on one of the residents. Comprehensive histories take FOREVER- no really though, it took about an hour to get the history of this lady...and she was completely lucid...there are just tons of questions. I mostly was excited that we got to wear the coats and act all official even though we had no idea what we were doing. Hopefully that won't be the case when I'm actually treating people :)

Friday I also went to the Greek Festival here in town. Basically it was just a bunch of Greek food...which was fine (sorry Rach), but the group that I went with was fun. I just love the different dynamics that everyone brings to the group...the thing is, I don't really know where I fit. One guy is the super outgoing one, one guy is the total science nerd, and two guys are the more sensitive relationship oriented ones. I don't even know if there is anything left for me to do except be a girl...which I don't really know what that means. I guess we'll just have to see.

It's official...

This week in class we started learning about how to read an XRay. I don't know why this made it all seem so real, but it did. I'm going to be a PA! That is absolutely crazy. I'm going to be able to stick an XRay against the wall light thing and say, it looks like she has a fracture . Oh I just love it!

Oh Boy!!!!

These are the wonderful people who sit next to me in class...Beth, Hong Zong, (behind me) Stephanie, Thurna, Christie.
This was our Friday Night Movie Night thing. I felt exactly like mom, getting everyone to come together and pose for the picture. I loved it! bottom left: Shelby, Rachel, Rebecca, Me, Amanda (she's a new girl who is super nice- I think we'll be friends), Lori (same thing...she's cool). In the Back Left: Jordan, David (he's the nonmember that has been hanging out with us), Brian, and Ben
So I took this a couple years ago, but I was just going through my pictures...and I was missing BYU Football, so i decided to include it.--Love it!

I'm not sure what happen exactly, but this week got super crazy all of the sudden. I had a couple of tests, which translated into TONS of studying. I'm just now starting to understand what they meant by the statement they made during orientation, 'we own your life.' I did quite a bit of studying, but it has actually been kind of fun. I now can tell you a little bit about Beta Blockers (propranolol), Atropine, and Muscarinic drugs. It actually came in handy today...okay it actually didn't but I tried to use the information. Turns out, people don't really care what an antimuscarinic affect is...She didn't even let me explain that it really did have to do with taking allergy pills....whateve.

So far I feel like I'm keeping up on my studies, which feels SO nice, but don't worry, I don't imagine this feeling will last much longer. My main class-Clinical Medicine starts this next week and I'm kind of getting nervous. I don't know what it entails, but it sounds like it is going to be a beast.

All the studying has paid off so far...I Aced both my tests this week...HOLLA! I'm sure that they make the tests easier at the beginning just so we'll keep going, but either way, I'm happy. It was a nice confidence boost at the beginning and end of my week.

After all that diligent studying...I managed to squeeze in some socializing.This is me venting...just so you know...you can skip this paragraph if you'd like.

So I woke up Saturday morning feeling like I wanted to do something other than sitting home Saturday night. In my geniusness, I thought it would be a great idea to call up one of the guys in the ward here and do stuff with him. Normally I would have called a girl, but I just am not connecting with any of the girls, and so logically I had to turn to the boys. Anyway, so I call up this guy(Ben-med school guy) to see what he is doing that night. In my logical mind, I didn't think that I was asking him on a date BECAUSE #1 I'm not a boy-BOYS ask girls on dates, NOT the other way around. There are gender roles for a reason...so dumb miscommunications don't happen. #2 I specifically omitted the word date from the conversation...I used words like 'hang out' or 'do something'. There was absolutely no mention of date or dating in the conversation. #3 I was clearly just feeling kind of lonely and just really wanted a good friend...NOT an awkward date. So I'm sure you can guess what happened. Yeah, it was just awkward. He came over to my apartment for a while and just talked, and the more we talked and I was reading his body language the more I thought-'Betsy, what have you done?' We ended up going to hang out with a group of people from the ward and we watched the BYU football game...so it wasn't all bad. I actually thoroughly enjoyed the game...especially since we won! I was so proud of those boys in blue! Woot!!! It didn't actually get awkward, for me at least, until the drive home when I was thinking, oh no...is he going to walk me to the door or just drop me off...ahhh...what do I do? I just fixed the problem by jumping out of the car as soon as he pulled over (I live on kind of a busy street so I clearly had a good reason to be fast...I didn't want anyone to hit him) and said, 'k, see ya tomorrow.' Now I know that both Mom and Dad would probably start scolding me for not handling the situation properly, but all I can say is, this wasn't my fault. (Typing that just made me think of Nate and all the times Mom and Dad would yell out...'NATE!' and he'd respond with, 'I didn't do it.')

Monday night was scripture study at the Creamer's House (2nd counselor in the bishopric) and for the activity we watched Boise State play Virginia Tech. Virginia Tech is only 20 minutes from here, so obviously everyone here is a Tech fan-go Hokies...but I just wasn't feeling the need to conform just yet...so I cheered for Boise...and it is a good thing I did, cause they won and who wants to root for a loosing team. There were only a couple of really uncomfortable moments when I could tell that some of the people in the room didn't like me very much. It only took 10 minutes into the game for me to realize that I should probably keep my cheering to myself. The night ended on a positive note...mostly cause I left at half time, and the teams were about tied.

One of the chicos(Jason) in my ward called me up during the week and asked if I wanted to 'do something, sometime?' Can you get any more vague??? I really don't think it is possible. After talking with him for a few minutes, I got him to be a little more specific...sometime this week...anytime...OKAY. From this experience I learned...I like planned things. I'm not so much the spontaneous type. I kind of figured that I was like that, but now I for sure know...I do indeed like planned things. Anyway, because this guy was so noncommittal, indecisive...whatever he was, I felt like I had to plan something. It just put a bunch of pressure on me, which I thought was weird...because he was the one who wanted to do something. I don't even know the kid. I figured that if I had to plan something, then it would be something that I felt super comfortable doing. So I decided to get a group together to go watch a movie in the park. I thought it sounded fun...kind of date-ish, but also not because there was a group of us. The funniest part to me was that I invited guys and girls...and since I was the one inviting people I decided to invite Brian. I didn't think he would actually come, but he did want to come, which is wonderful except for the fact that the whole point of the night was to be 'doing something' with Jason, while really...I think I kind of like Brian. I had another one of those moments where I said out loud, 'Betsy, what have you just done?' Good thing no one really knows who I like, or that I like anyone.

Anyway, the park was a good thought, and it would have been fun, but we decided not to go. Actually we got to the park, and we found out that a girl in the ward was throwing a movie night and no one was going...so we went to that instead. It was fun. I will say that movies are kind of sketchy territory- in the sense that I didn't know who to sit by and what it would mean if I sat next one of them. I kind of just stood at the edge of the circle for a while because I didn't know where to sit. I didn't think I was being obvious, but apparently I was cause everyone said, Betsy, do you need some help? Woops. That just added to the pressure, so I just sat on the floor. (The logical side of my brain realizes that it really isn't that big of a deal where I sit, and even now I see how dumb the situation sounds...but in the moment, ya know....)

I sometimes feel like my life is a giant chain of awkward situations (I realize that I put myself in these situations most of the time) and it is surprising that I haven't yet learned how to maneuver out of them skillfully. I just kind of get stuck-hopefully I’ll learn sometime.

Well to end on a positive note...We watched Blind Side tonight and I was thinking about how much the lady reminds me of Aunt Valle, but also of Mom. She gets things done, super nice and generous and you just don't mess with her. It's so true.

You're amazing just the way you are

So I just finished reading the book, The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown. It was an okay book, but I just loved the ending. If you want to read the book at some point-stop reading cause I'm totally going to give away the ending.

The whole idea of the book is based on this idea that there is a lost word, that once you know it, can bring you ultimate power. Throughout the book the good guys are told that the word isn't so much a 'lost or new word', it is a word that everyone knows but ignore the significance of it. At the very end it is revealed that the word isn't just a singular word, but rather THE word as in the Bible. The reason the bible has great power to those who know it is because of one of its key doctrines-that we are literally children of God and that we have the potential to be like him and that our minds have the literal power and capability of Godhood.

I thought that was a pretty cool moral to this book-that there is tremendous power IN EACH of us. Obviously there is huge power as we call on God to help us, but there is also great power within us. As we recognize who we really are and what we are truly capable of, we'll see the tru Godhood in ourselves. We really are Gods in embryo. We were made to become Gods-rulers of worlds and matter and sometimes the hardest one is ourselves.

The last thought(s) I had as I finished off the book was just that we are each so amazing. That made me think of the song on the radio-Just the Way you are -by Bruno Mars. K so I know it is a super cheesy song, but it's mostly true...we are amazing just the way we are. Not that we don't have faults, but by virtue of the fact that we are on this Earth, at this time...we obviously are amazing and truly stalwart people...we just have trouble sometimes remembering that.

A little Hey Hey from the VA

People in the Ward

Brian, shelby, Me

Becca, Me, Lori

Now comes the Virginia life. So I left on Thursday August 12 and drove from Idaho Falls, through Wyoming, Montanaish, and Colorado (Denver). There I picked up Dad at the Denver Airport and we drove to Kansas that night. We stayed in a hotel and that night there was the biggest lightning storm ever! It was so loud that it woke both of us up. It was weird. The next day we drove to Charelston, West Virginia. Then we got up the next day and drove a 5 or so hours to Roanoke. In all it ended up being something like 32 hours of driving. It was definitely a LONG drive, but we made it! There was a little hiccup with the car, and we thought we might have to get it fixed, but we both prayed about it and felt like we’d be okay, which we were. The next day was Sunday so I went to the Singles ward where Dad, being the wonderful Dad that he is, talked to everyone, particularly the guys-and showed them where I lived and told them all about me. I was only slightly embarrassed when I heard that he did that.

The ward initially seemed really small and sparse. Everyone was really friendly and nice, but I don’t think any amount of friendliness could have made me feel super comfortable. Change is hard and awkward and scary and just not fun. I was surprised at how well I could act confident and social when I felt so out of place, which I’m sure was a huge blessing, not just a coincidence. After church they had a munch and mingle in the cultural hall, so I had a chance to sit and talk with a bunch of people and get to know people better. Everyone was seriously SO welcoming. I had mentioned in Relief Society (because they asked what I still had to buy for my apt) that I needed a fan because it was so hot and humid here. Afterwards one of the girls, Han (she’s asian…thus the cool name)said that she had an extra fan in her trunk and she gave it to me. Who does that? I was just really impressed.

That day I met a guy from BYU Ben Craugun…I was excited that there was someone else there that came from good ol’ P-town. He had just started at the new Medical School in town (Virginia Tech Carilion Medical school). I pretty much just went around the room and talked with almost everyone there…there were only 30 people, so it wasn’t that hard, but I was proud of myself for talking with everyone an just putting myself out there.

Monday night we had scripture study at the Bishop’s house that again I probably wouldn’t have gone to, except Ashley called me and asked if I wanted a ride. She really was an angel. All it took was a couple of rides to the activities and it made all the difference for me. Monday night was much better…much more normal crowd. There were a couple of new faces that I hadn’t seen at church and just the whole vibe of it was just much more comfortable. We had dinner with the 12 of us YSA and then we all sat around while the Bishop taught us about a certain doctrine. He’s a great teacher and it got me thinking about the topic. Afterwards most everyone stayed and played Crazy 6…or nertz or whatever you want to call it. Anyway, it was a lot of fun just being myself. Walking away from the night, I was actually shocked with how I behaved. Not that it was bad, I was just really outgoing and social and just myself. I feel like sometimes when I’m put in new and uncomfortable situations I clam up, but not tonight.

School Orientation started on that Wednesday with mostly just getting to know you activities and introductions to the program and what to expect and everything. I think their main objective was to scare us, which they did pretty effectively, but we talked to several of the second years and they told us not to worry too much. It is very doable. My class consists of 40 people 30-girls and 10-boys. I would say that 80% of them are either married, engaged or dating…the rest of us are single. The age range is 22 to 40. I sit next to the lady who is 40 she has 2 kids,one of which is 18 mo. She is Crazy if you ask me. First impressions…everyone seemed very nice and smart. I sat next to a girl-Kathryn who just seemed like the sweetest southern belle you have ever seen. She really is so nice. She actually gave me a ride to the convocation the following day because I didn’t know where I was going and she had a GPS system. Anyway, we’ve become friends. I also met Katie . I randomly called her over to Kathryn and myself because she was sitting by herself and it just seemed sad. Anyway, it wasn’t an intense conversation or anything, but after that we have just become good friends. She actually reminds me a ton of my good high school friend Jamie Dahl and for a second I thought she was maybe a member, but she’s not.

Friday we still had orientation…I didn’t know that we could orient so much on one thing, but I guess they thought we really needed the help or something. That afternoon we did a ropes course with the class. It was one of those team building activities to develop trust and get over the whole personal space issue. We all got pretty close…yup. My favorite part of the whole thing was the actual ropes course part. They blind folded us and they led us down a hill and to this ropes course. The only directions were to find your way out and raise your hand if you need help. It didn’t take long for me to get lost and frustrated enough to raise my hand. He pulled me out and whispered, ‘take your blind fold off’. As I looked back to see where I had come from I noticed that what I thought was an elaborate ropes course was merely a ropes square. It was a pretty profound lesson for me both educationally, but mostly spiritually. Here we are in life, trying to find our way out on our own, when in actuality there is absolutely no way to get out on our own! We need help! It was even more interesting to watch my other classmates struggle around the square trying to figure it out and the leader kept saying, ‘raise your hand if you need help’ and they would completely ignore him. One time one of the guys even responded, ‘no, I’m going to figure this out on my own.’ He was also the guy who spent an extra 10 minutes by himself in the box because he wouldn’t ask for help. That must be how God sees us here on Earth. We are all wandering around, trying to find our way back to him and all he says is, if you need help let me know…but in our ignorance we think that we can do it on our own and so we don’t ask for help. In reality there is absolutely no way we can do it on our own. All it takes is for us to raise our hand, even if it is just barely in the air, and he is right by our side showing us the way. Anyway, I thought it was a powerful message.

This past week/weekend has been a blast. Wednesday I was planning on watching a movie with a new friends here, but right before she came over I got a phone call from a guy in the ward. Anyway, when he finally came out with it, he wanted to know if I wanted to come over and watch a movie with him. I didn’t know what to say and so I kind of paused for a second, which he might have taken as I didn’t want to go, anyway he quickly followed up with the fact that there was a group coming over to watch the movie. I told him that this other girl and I would come over. Later that night I found out that Ben (the guy who had called) had wanted to invite a couple of guys over (Brian and Justin) and when he had invited them, Brian suggested that he invite me. Maybe I’m a little conceited but I was really flattered that they would single me out. I don’t even know these people, so I thought it was neat that I was the first person he thought of to invite.We watched Last Song, with Miley Cyrus in it. It is a cute, sad, chick flick and I’m pretty sure that all the guys there hated every second of it, but I loved it-so whatev.

Friday night we played capture the flag in the dark. All I can say was it was intense AND there are huge spiders here…not a fan of that! I had a couple of run-ins with them…no bueno! One awkward conversation from the night went something like this…’Betsy, eat some of my brownie.’

‘No thanks, I’m good, but that was really nice of you to offer!

‘No really, I’ll feel offended if you don’t eat any.’

In my head I’m thinking, do you realize that you just slobbered all over that brownie and now you are offering it to me. Gross! ‘ Haha (polite/awkward laugh) No I’m good.’

Then he just stared at me till I finally said, ‘Okay Ben I’m gonna tell you an interesting fact about me….I’m a germaphobe.’

He kind of gasped…seriously gasped and then said loudly, ‘A germaphobe?’ I started to laugh because he was making it sounds like this awful disease…it really isn’t that big of a deal. I don’t know whether the other conversations at the table were just waning or Ben’s voice is just super loud but several people around me were like, ‘what you’re a germaphobe?’ I just laughed and reiterated the fact that it wasn’t a disease.

Anyway, so a minute later once that had died down, Ben said, so I have a question for you…how did you kiss being a germaphobe? AHHhhh. I was proud of the fact that I just took it in stride and pretended like I wasn’t completely mortified that he just asked that. Anyway, I just responded that you just kind of get over it…not that I would know, but I kept that part to myself.

So I've had a full two weeks of classes now and things are looking pretty good. I'm enjoying most of my teachers and I'm really enjoying the subject material. I took my first test (medical terminology-so it was kind of a fake test because it doesn't count for a grade, you just have to keep taking it till you pass) and I passed the first time...which was a wonderful surprise. I also did my first history and physical on a classmate...it was weird. I felt like I was playing dress up. I'm sure the reality of it will come with time, but for right now, it's just weird.

Friday night I went to the Salem Red Sox game with the ward. We had a little tailgate before hand and then we had seats in a box...suite thing. I have no idea what the final score was, or even what happened in the game-clearly I'm not a baseball person. It was fun to be with the group, but as I was driving home I just realized that I just don't feel like I click with the group that was there. Everyone is super nice, but just different than me. On the flip side, I know that all it takes is one person and really one conversation to change my perception...so I'll keep talking and being friendly and I'm sure I'll eventually find someone I want to be good friends with.